7 September, 2017
What helps us to be liked and sought after?
Here are some basic reasons why others would like to look at you and pay attention to you with pleasure:
1. You are an inquisitive person and ask interesting questions to your interlocutors
It is scientifically proven that curious people build better relationships and make it easier to build proximity to them. They are interesting as personalities and are easier to talk to.
If we are curious, we would be glad to ask interesting questions to the people who will help us to melt the ice and help us get information about the person and build the necessary connection with him or her. Examples of such questions are: What is your short story? What was the best thing that happened to you today? What is the book that has impressed you most recently? Why did you choose this job? What you dreamt of becoming in your childhood? Surely everyone can think of many other interesting questions, knowing that the key is that we are starting the conversation, but pointing it to the other by showing an interest in it.
2. You are positive
If we use the rule of reciprocity in winning people, conquering them with positive comments will give them a positive perception of yourself. But be careful, the same applies to negative comments.
Speak positively and optimistically, beware of polarizing topics such as religion and politics. Avoid being serious, monotonous and follow the emotion or reaction of your interlocutor: laugh at the jokes of people, smile when they smile.
Strive when discussing or describing other people to speak only positive things about them. Researchers at Purdue University have discovered that if someone says something good or bad to someone else, their listeners attribute the same qualities to the person who made the statement. For example, if you tell someone that he is not honest, the people you talk to will have the impression that you are dishonest. That is why it is better to talk and describe people who are smart, honest and intelligent, and thus leave a similar impression to you on your interlocutors.
3. You know that "the clothes are welcomed, and the mind is sent" and that is why you always try to make the first impression for you to be wonderful
Nonverbal communication specialists teach us that the first estimate of the human we make is for one tenth of a second, and in the next few seconds, we become more critical. That is why the smile can be very useful in such cases. We must consciously use it because the smile is a universal sign that we are good, secure and benevolent. Try to smile in the streets of strangers and you will see that they are responding either with a smile on their part or at least with an approving nod. As we smile, we also have eye contact, and this is an effective way to quickly build a relationship with others.
4. You are a good listener
Active listening is a must for successful communication. It is important, however, to know what is active listening.
It is more than a sensation, it requires sense, focus and understanding based on knowledge and analysis. Active listening means paying attention not only to the sounds, but also to the subtle signs and the hidden meaning of the ongoing processes and actions. It is also referred to as one of the most powerful tools a successful leader has to master.
Statistics show that when we talk to a friend, boss, colleague or client for 10 minutes, we can be focused not more than half the time. In the next 48 hours, from this information, we only remember 25%, that is, we understand and keep less than ¼ of what we have heard.
There are not many tools we can successfully use to get in touch with people, and active listening is one of them. True attention during a conversation gives people signals of our respect for them, suggests our curiosity and even somewhat of our empathy.
5. You never judge people
If you want to like it, you need to be impartial and open to the opinion of others. No one wants to talk and waste time with someone who has already formed an opinion and does not want to listen. Opening up to others is crucial in the workplace, where accessibility means openly sharing new ideas and giving help. To avoid prejudiced concepts and judgment, we must try to see the world through the eyes of other people. This does not require us to believe in what they believe or accept their behaviour, but simply means that we stop judging them and try to understand their true causes and motives. Only then can we understand them and see who they really are.
A good strategy for raising self-awareness is to try not to appreciate people and their actions, but to listen carefully and understand all the facts. Remember: "When we judge, we are prone to being judged."
Proper communication is something we learn throughout our lives. Whether we will have to get rid of wrong beliefs, of our ego, or to work on self-knowledge in order to become better aware, everything is learned with a lot of practice. So, practice as much as you need, because in order to achieve your goals, people need to support you, they have to trust you, and in order to trust you, they should like you.