12 септември, 2018
Envy is a taboo theme. And when two people discuss it, it's usually about the envy of a third person. To admit your own envy is difficult in front of you and even more difficult for someone else. Talking with a loved one when you feel the envy between you two and your relationship is too difficult. The fact that a person avoids thinking or talking about it does not mean that Envy disappears. It works subtly. It undermines the happiness of a person, ruins his closeness to others, undermines his performance in the professional sphere and, last but not least, damages his health as each emotion causes biochemical reactions in the body and the long-term experience of negative emotion increases the stress hormones in the body.
The Destructive Forces of Envy - In and Out
Depending on the character of the person, Envy can direct its destructive action mainly outward in the form of sabotaging the work of the object to which it envies, slanderous remarks, hints, gossip, hostile attitudes hidden behind the faction of "benevolent criticism" (not that there is no constructive and well-intentioned criticism, but then it comes from a sincere desire for cooperation and mutual support for development), and sometimes compliments and congratulations to success that bring unhealthy, fake energy (as felt by the recipient).
It is possible that the Envy is devastated mainly in the inward direction - man often falls into self-pity and thinks that others are getting easier, lucky, tied, etc. or that they are "born ones" - smarter, more disciplined, more motivated, more energetic, better in communication ...
We often think that emotions are personal and coping with them is as simple as putting a mask, leaving through the door of the office. But keeping masks underneath a strong emotion is not a long-term solution. Emotion is actually a movement of energy that seeks a way to manifest, and if not realized, it will certainly do so in a way hidden to the person experiencing the emotion. And definitely the result will not be good for any country in the situation. The solution is not to suppress the emotion, but to give it a healthy way out, to transform it and first of all to hear what it is to tell us.
Step One: What does Envy have to say?
Envy usually comes with the message: "You have a lot of untapped potential within yourself and on a deep level you realize that you do not live the way you would like it. Your needs of meaning, self-actualization (growth and development) or recognition are most likely unsatisfied. "
In order to discover the origin of the Envy in the work, we need to answer the questions:
1. Are you stagnant:
- because you are afraid of change?
- because you do not believe enough in yourself and behave for the acquaintance, even though your soul cries for exploration of new territories?
- because you are afraid of the opinion of others?
- because you are afraid of success (if you succeed, you will have bigger responsibilities, you will have more to lose)?
- because you believed that you did not deserve success (because of messages from important figures in childhood or because there were no successful and happy personalities in your family and family)?
- because you have the constraining belief that work is a place where food is earned and nothing more?
- because you believe that there are no opportunities for both good financial reward and happiness in the workplace, sense of sense and pleasure in the very process of work? Because you believed that one had to choose only one of these things?
- because you still hold on to the child's attitude, that you want to have everything, now, at the moment and without making any development efforts?
2. Do you really need what you envy? Is it really important to you? Would you invest time, energy and other resources to achieve this? Would you pay the price that paid the one you envied? Do you know what this price is and do you think it is worth? Do you think it is in tune with your value system?
When we answer honestly these questions and hear what Envy tells us to say, it is important to thank her. Yes, no matter how strange it may be - it can be a very important ambassador and turn our lives to good if we pay attention to it. It is destructive when we do not want to hear it and dig deep into it.
Step Two: Transforming Envy
This step is essential and it involves working on inner convictions so that they cannot limit our growth and happiness.
Extremely valuable are conversations with people who have managed to change their beliefs and their way of thinking. They would be a springboard for our motivation for a long, life-changing inner work.
Like any other habit, and new ways of thinking, they need time to consolidate and become habits. The focus and perseverance that we will need is easier to achieve when we meet and talk to people who are committed to their personal development.
If we have in our environment at least one person who has the same goals and aspirations for self-development, it would be wonderful.
After all, what does the Envy transform to under our conscious effort? Inspiration and catalyst for change for a better inner world (a healthy relationship with our ego, our emotions, our value system) and a better way of living and relationships with others - our relatives and colleagues.
A person who has taken on this path is more responsible to himself, to others, more aware and better communicating, happier, and more energetic and optimistic. And guess what - this is passed on to others too. This is a win-win situation, everyone earns.
Author: Maria Vassileva Dimitrova