Friendly environment is a key factor for happiness – how to help each other out with our personal development?
 
One of the crucial factors for achieving happiness is the choice of suitable circle of people who support each other in moving in the positive direction. In practice, this means having your own group of friends with whom you can share values, strive for personal development, and share the same views on definition of success, meaning of and happiness in life. In that particular group communication is based on honesty, sincerity, good-heartedness, and will to develop. Only when you have that basis, you can have conversations, bringing real value to your life.

Interacting in such a group contributes to happiness in several ways:



Sometimes we need a new point of view and sharing with people, who we trust, would present a valuable opportunity to see the bigger picture more objectively. If we have a broader view, we are able to take better decisions and feel more satisfied with life.

Having this kind of complete relationships makes us feel useful because of our contribution and of the ability to give and at the same time receive important feedback. This overall process also helps us feel significant and useful. The feeling which positive contribution gives us is one of the key factors of happiness.

If we are a part of group where people are consciously well-intentioned and self-improving then we can completely satisfy our deep human need of closeness and belonging. The true sensation of belonging lies within the real trust and sincerity. Only then can a person speak freely about his/her hurting, emotions, dreams, and goals. Keep in mind something very important – only then can we share our happiness without worrying that others will envy us. For when everybody in the group is on the same frequency, focused on improving our lives and taking responsibilities for what depends on us, there is no envy.

Whenever one’s dream comes true, this strengthens the belief in their personal abilities for the rest of the group. Envy can occur when people are not active in their pursuit of happiness and don’t want to undergo all the life’s changes. In such cases they cannot sincerely be glad for somebody else being active and successful in their positive life-transformation.

Within group of friends with the acknowledged will of personal development and mutual support in that direction, there are real joy sharing, closeness, respect, gratitude and love.

To give and to receive feedback

Sometimes there might be an argument or a momentary dispute. But if there is also good communication, everybody in the group realizes the importance of sharing opinions well-intendedly. Speaking about negative emotions should also be done with care and timely. Thus, the tension we have built up, is lessening in time.

It is not the Ego, but the Soul that is the leader in those relationships.

It is important for people to explore their own emotions and to realize in time when the old defense mechanisms of their ego, which were formed in childhood, have a devastating effect on their current relationships. This self-observation and awareness will enable them to choose the best possible position and respond in an emotionally intelligent way. When two people look for a way to see the other's point of view and understand the reasons for their emotion, then the conversation between them is productive and leads to enrichment for both sides. Such kind of communication is an important condition for groups of friends to give valuable feedback and to learn from each other.

The communication in these groups of friends that are focused on personal development has nothing to do with the communication in companies where topics are superficial, gossip-related, simply "time-filling." A joint complaint regularly in such companies may create an illusionary sense of closeness, but this is quite different from the strong sense of closeness between people who help each other in achieving positive changes. Regular spending of time in an environment that lacks feedback, sincerity and depth leads to stagnation, sustaining the role of victim and pulling down.

You may have heard the sentence: "A person is the average of the five people he/she spends most of the time with." It is important to be aware of what our criteria for choosing social environment are - just not to be alone OR to find people, with which we will develop in a good direction. We also need to be aware of what energy and ideas we in most cases bring in our communication with people.

Many personal development experts and researchers of happiness factors speak about the importance of the people we choose to communicate with and of the type of communication in the friendly environment.. Among them are Lisa Nichols, Lewis Haus and Professor Raj Raghunathan, who is the author of "If You’re So Smart Why Aren’t You Happy?". It provides practical, scientifically proven exercises to increase the level of happiness. One of the exercises involves planning a project with a partner (a friend) that you can support in building healthy habits.

If you want to participate in such a group for personal development, become an initiator and create it. Choose at least one person you know, and you think has the same ambition to improve himself as you. Tell them about your idea and gradually your group of friends with common values and aspirations will increase.

What Lisa Nichols emphasizes when talking about these groups of friends for personal development is that everyone involved in the group is important to be strongly motivated for positive change. The goal is not to "pull" someone who has no real motivation and desire for development, but to gather people to inspire each other with personal example and activity.

Look up for videos, books, seminars which give strong push in the desired direction! Apart from Psychology-in-Practice books, you can find many novels (such as: “The Women Who Buy Flowers” by Vanessa Monfort for example) that reveal the life-transforming effect of communication, based on sincerely and pure well-intentioned feedback.

Best of luck in creating healthy, meaningful, utterly bonding and life-transforming relationships!

 

Author: Maria Vasileva Dimitrova